“Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
To learn what to be
Careful before you say ‘Listen to me’
Children will listen.”
~from the musical, “Into the Woods”
I first heard this song when I was a freshman in high school. A teacher at the time emphasized how important this song is, but just like any good story, the more I am exposed to it, the more I see its significance.
It’s hard sometimes, to be an adult in a middle school. I struggled this week, more than most, with this dilemma. It’s hard to not have a very human reaction to another’s very human, albeit annoying, action. But does that really solve anything? When a student yells at me because he feels like he’s not getting what he wants, it’s hard not to respond with an elevated voice and firmer tone. It’s hard to respond civilly when incivility is in the air.
Obama carried the same theme in both the State of the Union this week and his Q&A with the House GOP in Baltimore. Regardless of one’s opinion about Obama and his policies, I think we can all agree that what he says about the tone of politics today — that it is poisonous and unproductive. The same strategies to change that tone are present outside of politics — in our interpersonal relationships, in our classrooms, our families, and in our workplaces. The main question is: who’s listening and what will they learn from me?
In SOTU, President Obama said, ”Washington may think that saying anything about the other side, no matter how false, no matter how malicious, is just part of the game. But it’s precisely such politics that has stopped either party from helping the American people. Worse yet, it’s sowing further division among our citizens, further distrust in our government.”
To the House GOP, in a very candid tone while responding to a question, POTUS said, “[Politicians] have to be careful about what we say about one another.” He continued that a “tone of civility” was needed, “instead of slash and burn. The problem is, we have a media that responds to slash and burn.”
He also said two very important things about education this week: that it is the greatest “anti-poverty program of the 21st century” and that ”In this country, the success of our children cannot depend more on where they live than their potential.”
Combining these ideas, the lesson should be:
children will listen. They do. The tone in Washington and the politics of very important politics affect how Americans, and our children, think about their government and our society. In- and outside of politics, we are all role models for each other. It is our choice whether to be positive or negative in those roles. Either way, people are watching and, especially are children, are following.
In my classroom, I know I need to do a better job of being consistently positive and mature with ALL students, regardless of how they are treating me. Why? As a consistent adult in their life, I am a model for how civil and mature behavior looks and acts. I am a model of the results of quality education and determined problem solving. If I model divergent behavior, what I am a teaching them?
The same goes for politics. This web site is designed for a group of party-minded individuals. The leader of this party, our president, expressed a position this past week, and arguably since the beginning of the campaign in 2007, that party labels do not matter: that our identity as Americans matters most when it comes to discussing and instituting policy. It’s a shame that the misinformation, fear-mongering, and name-calling side of our politics gets the most play on TV. But really, if we were more productive in our politics-less policy-making, wouldn’t that be different, too?
We need to consistently project a tone of civility and honor to expect that that’s what people, media included, will respond to. We can’t solve our nation’s–and our world’s–greatest problems by pointing fingers, calling names, and screaming. Democracy is meant to be noisy, but we need make sure our noise is respectful and productive. In this vein, it’s not the Republicans that are the root of our greatest problems, or that disruptive student in my classroom — it’s our actions, our response to their actions, and our leadership in guiding everyone toward a common, agreeable goal.
It is a very human response to place blame and express equal–if not, immature–ferocity when we feel cornered in the same way. But, wouldn’t it be more mature, and more powerful, to turn that ferocity to positivity? As hard as it is to be the bigger person sometimes, we need to take the high road. This is because solutions are so much more important than harping on what the problems are; this is important because, unless we model for each other what active, mature problem-solving looks like, we can’t expect that future generations can learn to do the same from us.
We can’t keep waiting for our children to solve our problems; we need to do that ourselves, and teach our children the appropriate tools to solve the problems they will face.
As we move forward into this new decade, remember: what are you doing? Who’s watching? Who’s listening? What will they learn from you in that process? It’s an approach I must stick to in my classroom, and one we should focus on as a country, if we expect to solve any of the problems before us.
~MJ
“These were the times that tested the courage of our convictions, and the strength of our union. And despite all our divisions and disagreements, our hesitations and our fears, America prevailed because we chose to move forward as one nation, as one people….
“To Democrats, I would remind you that we still have the largest majority in decades, and the people expect us to solve problems, not run for the hills. And if the Republican leadership is going to insist that 60 votes in the Senate are required to do any business at all in this town — a supermajority — then the responsibility to govern is now yours as well. Just saying no to everything may be good short-term politics, but it’s not leadership. We were sent here to serve our citizens, not our ambitions. So let’s show the American people that we can do it together. ~POTUS, 2010 SOTU
